The Danger of Civil Service
by Orange Bulldog
Summary: Serena and Olivia Benson in some deleted scenes after two of the episodes in S15. Just friendship. Follow up on the infamous "Is this because I'm a lesbian" line.


Disclaimers:

These are obviously not my characters, I'm just borrowing them from NBC and anyone else who owns them.

If you have issues with people of the same sex loving each other, or live someplace where that's illegal (in which case, consider moving) please move on.

Pairing: nothing romantic

Rating: PG

Serena walked into the familiar bar, bought a gin and tonic, and found a seat at a table near the back. She couldn't believe Jack had attacked those gay marriages, and she couldn't believe the judge had agreed with him. Sure, she wanted to put killers in jail, but not at the expense of other areas of the law.

She was so immersed in her thoughts and her drink that she didn't notice the woman walking up to her until she was at the table.

"This seat taken?"

Serena sighed, not really in the mood to meet someone new, and looked up, ready to say so, when she saw who her company was.

"Olivia, hey, of course it isn't, sit." She smiled at the detective.

"What, no hot date?"

"Ha, as if. What about you, haven't seen you around here in awhile. You get yourself a new girlfriend and forget all about us single girls?" She raised her eyebrows slightly.

"Nope, my husband the NYPD would get too jealous." She teased back.

Serena sighed. "Working jobs like ours definitely cramps the love life." She paused. "You ever regret doing it?"

Olivia looked taken aback. She thought Serena loved her job, she was about as into it as Olivia herself.

"Not often, no. And when I do, I remind myself of the good we do." Though, remembering their recent case with the psychotic child who killed his neighbor so he wouldn't tattle on him…maybe Serena had a point. She was snapped out of her thoughts by her companion's next words.

Serena looked up from her drink to meet Olivia's eyes. "What if it's not good we do?"

"Serena, what happened?" Olivia asked gently.

The blond ADA shook her head. "You hear about those gay marriages in New Paltz?"

"Sure, right around the time of the San Francisco ones."

Serena downed the rest of her drink. "We overturned them all today."

"We did? I didn't hear anything about it."

"No, I mean a specific we. Jack. And me, by association."

"What?"

"We had a guy for murder. He told his male lover that he did it. Then it turns out they got married in New Paltz." She left the rest for Olivia to figure out.

"So his testimony was out, spousal privilege?" she guessed.

"Yep. That is, until Jack argued that it wasn't a valid marriage and ended up nullifying them all. Proving once again that a gay relationship isn't equal to a straight one."

"God, Serena, I'm sorry."

"Why? I'm the one who did it, not you."

"You're telling me you didn't try to talk him out of it?"

"He's my boss Liv, not the other way around. Sure I tried, didn't work. Oh and I think they might be getting a clue."

"Exactly, you tried to stop it, it's not your fault. And come on, if they haven't figured me out yet I'm sure you're safe." She grinned, trying to cheer her friend up.

Serena smiled despite herself, then got serious. "By 'getting a clue' I meant I told them." She admitted.

"Oh." Olivia waited for the rest of the story.

"I was saying I couldn't believe they were doing it, and Branch asked why I was so upset about it. So I told them. Jack said he always thought so, and Branch didn't say much at all, except that I needed to keep my personal views out of the cases." She stared down at her empty drink as if hoping more would appear.

"Ouch. That's why I never tell any of them, I feel like they'll second-guess any of my opinions on cases with gay topics."

Serena nodded. "Luckily for me, those don't pop up as often as they do for you. But I definitely felt uncomfortable the rest of this one."

"Did it feel good though?" Olivia asked.

Their eyes met. "It felt wonderful."

-

Two months later:

Serena walked back down the hall to collect her things. She blinked tears out of her eyes, realizing she should clean out her desk. She sat down and put her head down on her desk and tried to shake away the urge to cry.

"Hey, is this a bad time?" a voice came from the doorway.

Serena's head shot up and she hastily wiped the tears from her eyes. "Oh God, Olivia…"

"Are you okay?" Olivia slipped into detective mode.

"What are you doing here?" she tried to avoid the question.

"I had to see Casey about a case, thought I'd see if you were still here. Good thing too, you look like you need a friend."

Serena opened her drawers and started putting things into her briefcase.

"I just got fired." She said bitterly.

"What? Fired?" the detective was shocked.

"Apparently I get too passionate about my cases, and they think I'd be better off somewhere I could do that."

"But they didn't give you a say in the matter?"

"Oops, did I imply they cared about what would be better for me?" she said sarcastically before sighing. "No, it's all right, really. Maybe he's right. I know I was feeling out of place the last few months. Seemed like every case I had a different opinion than Jack."

Olivia was quiet for a minute. "Serena, you don't think this has anything to do with - "

"Coming out to them? I asked, and of course he said no. But really, come on, he knows the law, even if it was he'd never admit to it." She paused. "No, honestly, I don't think he'd do that to me. It probably didn't help the arguments though."

"Did this last case have anything to do with it? Weren't you working that rapper's case?"

Serena nodded. "No gay undertones. We did disagree on who was guilty though." She laughed. "Ironically, I was right. But it didn't matter, because I guess I was right for the wrong reasons."

She finished packing up – she didn't have many personal items here so it hadn't taken long at all. She stood looking around, at a loss of what to do.

"Look, can I give you a ride home or something?" Olivia offered.

"You know what I really want to do?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows in question and waited.

"I want to go to a women's bar, get plastered, and wake up next to someone whose name I don't even know." She admitted.

Her friend laughed. "I don't know about the last one, but I think we can handle the first two." She stood up. "Come on. I'll take you home, you can change and drop off your things and we'll go drink our troubles away."

She grinned at Serena. "And you never know, maybe we can work out the last one too."


End file.
